Wednesday, August 04, 2010

at a crossroads

It's come to my attention that my peers, mostly in our forties, are all going one of two ways:

1. getting fit
2. getting decrepit or actually fucking *dying*, like dropping dead of a stroke at age 48, mang.

This aging business, it is for the birds, yo. Mortality? Likewise. My parents, having completely retired finally, are starting to act like old people. I do not dig this development.

My own self, my blood pressure has jumped forty points since the last time I had it checked. I have been 120/80 since like FOREVER. Went to the doc Friday, it was fucking 160/90. Not good. No, not good at all. I attribute this primarily to my depression-induced excessive smoking, which I am treating with an anti-depressant and nicotine gum. It's too hot to exercise safely outdoors - we're talking heat indices over 100 from 9 am to 9 pm. This does explain my rampant headaches over the last few months, at least.

So, yeah, it's decision time: get fit, or get decrepit. Shit. I hate exercise. It's boring as fuck, walking around in a goddamn circle for hours on end, going to the same gym over and over with the same people and the same smell and the same machines. I don't like games where people propel balls at me. I can't get a good yoga class anywhere in the county. Wii Active fucking busted my ass the last time I tried it, and my thigh muscles turned into boards so I walked around like the Tin Man for a week. Seriously, I loathe all forms of exercise. I would totally try martial arts if I could find a woman-friendly beginner class within, oh, 20 miles. But there ain't one. I would go to yoga if it didn't involve driving 45 minutes each way.

It is expensive and time-consuming to have a body. Could somebody just download me into a low-maintenance machine? Kthx!


Anonymous said...

Lets cross the bridge when we come to it............................................................

ItsJustShannonP said...

Thanks! I am new to this blogging stuff, and happened upon your post. I enjoy it ☼

Michele said...

I'm going the fit route, Jez. Bought a bike, quit the occasional smoking, drinking about a gallon of water a day, and eating lotsa [tm] salads. It's rough but it's not going to get any easier on its own.


Jezebella said...

Clearly the fit route is the only reasonable option, but christ it is fucking HOT OUTSIDE and I hate to sweat with my clothes on. I wish it was safe to bike in my neighborhood, but rednecks seem to have a vendetta against bicyclers, and bike lanes? Feh. They're for them fancy big city folks. Ain't nobody need a bike lane up in here.