tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-218160242024-02-19T22:14:40.204-06:00Yo! ReduxDispatches from DumbfuckistanJezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.comBlogger576125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-40507463827554448382017-01-09T23:41:00.002-06:002017-01-09T23:41:23.135-06:00"Another blogger silenced by the patriarchy."Ouch. Well, yes, kind of. <br />
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That comment appeared recently and I thought - NO, it's not the patriarchy, it's... oh wait. I haven't blogged since I got blindsided by some academic fuckery, and then landed on my feet into a tenure track position, and the tenure track? Well, it sucks up all of my words. ALL OF THEM. <br />
<br />And, technically, academia is the patriarchy. <br />
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Nonetheless. I finally have my head above water (no new preps!!) and here I am, back at the blogger dash.<br />
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Back soon. <br />
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<br />Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-25876912317237075322013-02-12T21:16:00.001-06:002013-02-12T21:16:48.824-06:00Empire Building in the South SeasI've been reading "Narrative of the Voyages Round the World by Captain James Cook," because, um, I don't know, it was a free Kindle book? And I'm teaching the long 19th century this semester, the textbook of which includes, early on, a painting by the on-board painter for one of Cook's early trips.<br />
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I am finding the absolute arrogance of Cook and the British (and the narrator) simply *breathtaking*. The casual racism and sexism I was expecting. Offensive, but I knew what I'd be getting into. What's really taking my breath away is the casual environmental colonization/invasion of the South Seas islands by these guys who really seem to think they're doing the natives a favor. How? By introducing non-native species of plants and animals. Sometimes they do it by gift, but occasionally they just sneak into the woods, plant a garden full of turnips and carrots and stuff, and sneak away. Or they'll drop off a pair of goats on a non-inhabited section of an island. Or, ye gods, this one island? They gave 'em rabbits. RABBITS. On an island. I remember hearing that Australia still has a feral rabbit problem, they keep eating all the grass and crowding out native grass-eaters. Thanks, Captain Cook! <br />
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My favorite (as in, the most egregious example) is this one: a chief took a fancy to the cats on board. So they left him twenty cats. On an island. Full of tropical birds without any feline predators for centuries, eons, or possibly ever. What? They were HELPING! Really! I mean, these poor savages, they had never eaten chicken in their lives, or mutton, or turnips. Oh, the humanity. Such noblesse, Such consideration. "Here, have some invasive European species for your lovely little island eco-system."<br />
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Oh, and have I mentioned the syphilis? Yeah, it's not alluded to explicitly but it's clear enough that he's talking about "accidentally" "introducing" syphilis to various island communities.<br />
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I can hear it now: "Oh, Britannia, thank you! Thank you for the rabbits, and turnips, and the syphilis!"<br />
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Naturally, as I approach the end of the book (Spoiler Alert!) I am cheering on the natives of one of the Hawaiian islands as they take out the sorry SOB. Unfortunately, the damage was done. The mischief managed. All in the name of science, exploration, and in the belief that Europeans were a vastly, unquestionably superior race. <br />
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I have a whole other rant about the discourse regarding cannibalism in said account, but that's for another day. Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-60075431843626547142013-02-07T21:55:00.001-06:002013-02-07T21:57:19.145-06:00Oh, reality TV....I've said it before and I'm saying it again: I'd rather hang out with Honey Boo Boo's family than those awful Kardashians or, actually, pretty much any other reality TV families, except maybe the Torres family on Pitbulls and Parolees. Well, mostly I want to hang out with all those dogs at Villalobos.<br />
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Why is everybody all up in their grill? So they're rednecks with a pageant habit and a pregnant teenager. Big whoop. At least they're having a good time, instead of staging nasty weave-snatching girlfights like those awful people on "Big Rich Assholes" and all the "Housewives" shows. Here's my theory: people can't stand them because they are fat and happy and have deep redneck accents that they are not ashamed of. They could not give a good goddamn whether you approve of anything about them. The Judgy McJudgersons of America cannot tolerate a bunch of people who do not appear to be filled with self-loathing. They are not spending a ton of money on looking "better" or monetizing their reality show fame. They seem to be enjoying their time in front of the camera while knowing full well it's a fluke and it won't last forever.<br />
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Now, I admit to not being able to stomach "Toddlers and Tiaras" because child pageants are so much pornified pedophilic nastiness... but the Thompson/Shannon family (yeah, I totally had to wikipedia that one), well their show doesn't involve a lot of pageant stuff.<br />
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I'm not sitting down religiously watching it, but I'll sooner watch five minutes of that than just about any other reality show that doesn't involve pit bull rescues.<br />
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And let us not pretend like anybody but maybe Sugar Bear really needs those subtitles. He doesn't need them because of his accent, anybody with a mouth full of chew would be hard as hell to understand, even an Oxford don with a perfect British accent. Anyhow, if you can't understand a Southern accent, it's not the Southerner's fault. You're just not trying very hard because you think you're better than anybody with a drawl. I tell you what: you ain't. Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-13669901769770024192013-01-25T00:01:00.000-06:002013-01-25T00:01:32.974-06:00new role modelI have taken NCIS' Agent Gibbs as my new teaching role model. Except for the times when he's obsessive, mean, and irrational about a case, he's a good teacher. Firm, fair, clear expectations, high expectations, no bullshit.
He's not ideal but I certainly don't want to be their mama or big sister or even their Auntie Mame. I'm going to give this a try for a while and see how it works out. So far I have four rules. Naturally, Rule Number One? "It's on the syllabus." I figure it's easier to drill them on Rule Number One than have it tattooed across my forehead, which was my other option. Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-49654669029404744712013-01-16T22:39:00.000-06:002013-01-16T22:39:53.602-06:00wait, what? I have a blog? I totally forgot. Or, actually, I started teaching full-time and suddenly I had no time for nattering on my blog. Instead, I natter on Facebook and at my students, bless their hearts.
That's pretty much all the news from Buttcrack. I'm commuting 30+ miles to new teaching job, because the housing market here is slooooow aaaaaaas molaaaaaasseeeeeesssss. One of these days I will sell my house and get out of this incredibly boring, red-state, christian-family-values, heteronormative hole of a town. What's sad is that this is actually one of the BETTER small towns in Mississippi, on account of there are jobs here. ANYhoo, hello bloggy readers, if there are any left. Come on by periodically and I shall do my best to natter blogularly on a more regular basis.
Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-32612150298642194042012-03-02T19:14:00.002-06:002012-03-02T19:22:31.990-06:00the pollenI have a cold, I've got my period, and the entire town of Buttcrack is covered in a layer of yellow pollen. Oak? Pine? Who the hell knows? All I know is that it's trying to kill me. I've missed 4 of the 7 classes I teach this week and slept approximately 16 hours per day. Today, Friday, I have spent the afternoon in my bed watching TV on my laptop. Caught up with Project Runway All-Stars (I'm sorry, but Jerrell's tacky India costume should've sent him home before Mila last week). And I hate to admit it, but Kenley should've won the technology/lights challenge. I think the pink wig made it too Nicki Minaj but the outfit was better than Austin's, at least from what I could see. <br /><br />Caught up with Downton Abbey - really, the noble English family is going to go testify for a valet at his murder trial? Doubtful. And give them Christmas presents AND a servants' ball? It's all too much. Yes, of course, Matthew and Mary, ever after, blah de blah... but Mary's been such an asshole, I'm not sure she deserves to be happy ever after. I suppose that's a bit harsh, but all of the Crawleys and Granthams were assholes over the last few episodes, especially the one where everybody has the flu. Which is not to say I won't be eagerly watching Season Three just as soon as it comes back. <br /><br />Last but not least, I am watching Once Upon a Time, which has this feminist subtext in addition to ALL of the interesting and complex characters being female. The male characters are eye-candy or two-dimensional, except for Rumplestiltskin, I suppose, but he's still pretty pathetic all in all. <br /><br />And now, it being past 7 pm, I believe I will take a shot of Nyquil and go to bed.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-22168353267953671722012-02-18T21:28:00.001-06:002012-02-18T21:30:41.652-06:00really? the weather?No, even better: a post about the weather and *my cat*. No shit. <br /><br />Steven Alexander Fluffytail demanded to be let out the front door this evening. He looked at the rain, felt the cold, turned up his nose, and sauntered back in, as one might expect. He then demanded to be let out the BACK door. The look of disgust on his face, when he realized that the weather was *exactly the same* out back, was priceless.<br /><br />And then he gave me a shitty look that clearly said, "Fix this stupid weather, already, human. Don't pretend you can't." He just refuses to believe I have no control over what goes on outside the door.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-49817956576306959932012-01-29T15:46:00.002-06:002012-01-29T15:50:40.637-06:00Saturday adventure in backwoods MississippiI spent yesterday afternoon helping a neighbor and her two kids move from here in Buttcrack, MS, to an even tinier community about 90 minutes away. It was a brief but intimate glimpse into how freakin exhausting it is to be a single mother living in poverty. I hope she's going to be okay in her new digs and can get back on her feet. <br /><br />The minute I laid eyes on her trailer, the single saddest one-bedroom trailer I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life, I almost said: "Look, come live with me. This will not do." But truthfully, I don't have room for three more people, and she wanted more than anything to be in her own space, no matter how run down. I don't think she would have accepted the offer, even if I had been able to make it. <br /><br />So today I am very, very aware of the bedrock of privilege that gives me the life I am living.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-40564060581892057892012-01-04T00:21:00.002-06:002012-01-04T00:25:02.624-06:00home with a nasty cold....AND SO SICK OF BEING SICK I TELL YOU WHUT!<br /><br />Anyhoo, have spent the last few days indulging in: a day of watching reruns of America's Next Top Model; the next day I watched all seven episodes of Grimm on Hulu - which I loved; then an all-day marathon of Mythbusters(because who doesn't love explosions?); and then today, every episode of Once Upon a Time aired to date. The dude who plays Prince Charming was the top student of a fella I did some museum bidness with last summer. His name - Josh Dallas - which sounds fake, is for real. It's like his parents KNEW he needed an actor name. <br /><br />Srsly, sick. of. being. sick. Nyquil doesn't even put me to sleep any more.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-13245654861607097012011-12-04T14:30:00.002-06:002011-12-04T14:40:10.271-06:00crap on the televisionI am considering turning off any television show that features regular use of firearms. The militarization of the various crime-fighting units featured on some of my more favorite crime procedurals seems to me to be closely linked to the militarization of actual police in the world, the kind who respond to peaceful protests with SWAT-team aggression. I may have to make an exception for NCIS since they are, in fact, a military organization. And Mark Harmon is only getting hotter with age. How does that happen? <br /><br />A while back I started turning off any television show as soon as I saw a hot dead chick, or a hot woman being assaulted in some way. I don't think I've watched an entire episode of Law & Order or CSI since. I don't miss them, to be honest. <br /><br />The abundance of aspirational watch-people-shop TV shows is gross and boring. There are hundreds of hours of TV devoted to watching people buy real estate, wedding dresses, new wardrobes, the contents of storage units, and who knows what else. This kind of "watch people spend money" programming seems to me to be the modern depression analog to the wildly popular over-the-top musicals (Ziegfield follies et al) of the 1930s Depression. It's escapism for some, I guess, but I find it appalling. Also, watching people haggle at a pawn shop is incredibly boring. I kind of like the little historical interludes in Pawn Stars - sort of a low-rent Antiques Roadshow, really - but then the tedious and predictable haggling sequence follows, and, yawn. <br /><br />Finally, as a thought experiment, I would love to see that awful Millionaire Matchmaker lady try to find a partner for an average-looking middle-aged woman who wants a hotty-boombalatty younger man to serve as arm-candy. Can you imagine a bunch of straight 30-ish dudes getting all tarted up to go stand in front of a panel and be judged and questioned as to whether he might possibly worthy of dating said average-looking middle-aged woman? Ha. Not gonna happen.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-34203773480934596472011-10-22T12:17:00.001-05:002011-10-22T12:17:42.354-05:00blah blah blahBoys are stupid.<br /><br />Blah.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-76615690136974696862011-10-19T20:44:00.002-05:002011-10-19T20:49:17.838-05:00Why I'm not an anarchistBecause anarchy in the patriarchy would actually be worse for women, in my view. Peek into a dudebro's mind to find out what he thinks "anarchy" would be like, and you'll see a nasty rapey world, all Mad Max and Thunderdome. Eff that. I'll take the U S Constitution over anarchy as long as I live in a rape culture, thankyouverymuch. <br /><br />Am I a socialist? Kindasorta. Same problem applies: the same minority of white hetero able-bodied old white guys will still be decided who needs what, and who needs to give what. Guess who'll stay at the bottom of the food chain? Yeah, before revolution, chop wood carry water, after the revolution, chop wood carry water. On the plus side, the massive inequities in wealth would be eradicated and a lot more people would have an education, health care, a clean environment, and at least a decent shot at living the life they want to live. You can take the boy out of the government but you can't take the patriarchy out of the boy.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-38121028787975990532011-10-02T11:12:00.005-05:002011-10-02T11:39:31.228-05:00Thoughts on crying in publicA week and a half ago, Ferris and I lost his battle with whatever was wrong with him. I tried everything reasonable, and in the end I had to say goodbye. This is the second time I've had to make that decision for a beloved pet, and it probably won't be the last. I cried almost from the minute I walked in the vet for our last visit all the way out the door, and home. And I remembered the day of my Grandma's funeral, when I did the same thing. I've noticed that public crying makes other people uncomfortable, and I used to try to control my crying, rein it in, in order to NOT make others uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way I said to myself: fuck it. I am sad, I am crying, and other people's fee-fees are really not my problem. So I let 'em flow. I never cry at work if I can possibly help it, but otherwise, I refuse to keep a lid on it for the sake of polite conformity. A cousin looked at me at Grandma's funeral and said, "We're going to have to get you alright." And I thought: why? What does it mean to you if I'm sitting here crying? Let me be. Just let me be. <br /><br />I've been thinking about why I felt for so long that crying in public was shameful, embarrassing, to be avoided at all costs. I know that it's considered a sign of weakness in our culture - *girls* are crybabies, and "boys don't cry." Crying is a sign, particularly, of feminine weakness, and boys the world over are punished for crying. [Example: a guy I used to date who was beaten regularly by his dad from about age 8 to age 14 stopped getting beatings when he stopped crying and started getting angry. No lie. The guy is almost totally incapable of expressing his emotions or even knowing what they are or really feeling empathy. His dad beat it out of him. Literally.]<br /><br />I then remembered my personal grammar school bully, let's call him Donny Anderson, because that was his name. He sat right behind me in the third grade. I was the new kid, I'd just skipped a grade, and I was nearly 2 years younger than everybody in class. I was 6, they were 7 and 8 years old. Donny was way bigger and taller than me. I don't remember why he made me cry the first time, but as soon as he realized he could bully me into crying, he did it as often as possible. He'd sit behind me and whisper mean things to me, and I'd tear up. Or he'd pull my hair so hard that I would involuntarily get tears in my eyes. Then he'd make fun of me for crying. He'd start making submarine sounds: "Whoop, whoop, it's gonna flood, get in the submarine!" Eventually I learned to not cry when he was being an asshole, and if I gave him a dirty look, he'd start with the 'whoop, whoop' submarine noises and talking about how I was crying, and then I'd get mad at him because I fucking well WASN'T crying, but he was pretending like I was. It was just infuriating. Truly, if I saw that guy right now, I'd punch him in the face. He tormented me for three long years. I spent an entire year with skinned knees because every time I walked past the kickball game, where he was usually pitching, he'd throw the fucking ball at me and knock me down. I had to walk past it to get to the water fountain, and eventually found a different route, but he found new and shitty ways to torment me. Seriously. I would walk up to him right now and punch him in the face if I could. <br /><br />But wait. Let me get to the point: it was Donny Fucking Anderson that made fun of me crying, after he'd MADE me cry by being an asshole. It was right there, age 6, that I learned from a boy that girls were big crybabies, and weak, and that was a bad thing. I was tagged as a crybaby the whole three years I was at that school because of that asshole. And where did he learn it? At home, no doubt. One hopes he grew out of it, but what are the odds? We live in a culture where crying is shameful. <br /><br />I'm not sure when or why or how I decided that I would fucking well cry in public if I need to, maybe it was when my Grandma died and there was no holding back the flow, or maybe before that, but now I cry when I need to. I don't let other people determine my behavior. I will cry at the vet, I will cry at funerals, and I will cry driving down the road. I will not hide my "weakness" - by which, I think, people mean my "emotions" - for the convenience of others. I hate this idea that having emotions, and showing them, is weak and feminine. <br /><br />I also hate it when someone says or does something that makes me cry, and then blames ME for being "hypersensitive." Suddenly it's MY fault that I'm crying, not theirs. It's also infuriating. You want to see me turn into a howler monkey? Call crying "emotional blackmail," implying that the crying is just fakery, designed to manipulate. Or laugh at me when I'm crying. The emotionally abusive ex used to do both of those things. I honestly have never been so angry in my life as I was when he'd hurt my feelings so much I cried, and then he'd laugh because he thought I was "over-reacting." No, I was REACTING. Accusing me of dishonesty - of crying to manipulate - is the meanest thing someone can accuse me of. I have a lot of faults, but I am not a liar, and I am not a hypocrite. My mother used to accuse me of being hypersensitive, too. I think this is a way for people who have done hurtful things to disavow their responsibility for their meanness. They shift the blame to the victim. Hm, that sounds familiar: I get hurt, I cry, it's MY fault for responding to it. No bully has ever been really stopped by the stupid advice to "just ignore him" and "don't respond." They just raise their game, get meaner and meaner, in my experience. I left two schools in six years because of bullying. In junior high, it was girls. Kelly Revercomb and Julie Roseman, I hope you are googling yourselves and find this post. I hope Donny does too. All three of them were hateful little shitheads, bullies, and I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. Truly. <br /><br />So I learned as a kid to try to hide my emotions, to not express them, but now, as an adult, I say to hell with that. If my emotions make you uncomfortable, that's YOUR problem, not mine. Bottling up emotions makes you sick. Makes ME sick. And I won't do it, not for anybody. So if you see somebody crying in public, don't think of them as weak. Think that they have finally decided they do not give a shit what you think about their emotions, because, really, it's none of your business. It's my business. I'm reclaiming crying in public. I HAVE reclaimed it.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-75166896575814093042011-09-17T19:30:00.001-05:002011-09-17T19:32:15.760-05:00fighting a losing battle.The Foo, my feline soulmate of twelve years, is ill. He is jaundiced, he is not eating, he is yakking up any medicine I give him, he's lost a bunch of weight, and $500 worth of vet visits and bloodwork has yielded no solid answers. Now it looks like he's got an eye infection. I can't tell you how many hours I have spent lying on the floor petting his head and weeping this week. If I can't get medicine into him, I can't help him at all. Tuna, chicken, milk, yogurt, wet food, you name it, all of his favorite foods, he won't eat it. I am an absolute wreck.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-54735510357983966112011-09-08T16:04:00.001-05:002011-09-08T16:06:30.071-05:00Here, let's see what the wingnuts in Mississippi are up to...The wingnuts have successfully managed to get a "Personhood" amendment on the Mississippi ballot this fall. I could go on and on about how incredibly fucked up it is that the voters will get to decide on a human rights issue - as in, taking away human rights from women of reproductive age - but I think I'll let Planned Parenthood do it for me:<br /><br /><br /><br /> <span style="font-weight:bold;">INITIATIVE 26: EXTREME CONSEQUENCES FOR FAMILIES</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">If passed, amendment will have extreme consequences for women and children.</span><br /><br /> HATTIESBURG, MS --Today the Mississippi Supreme Court sent down a decision placing Initiative 26 on the 2011 general election ballot. <br /><br /> “Planned Parenthood is very disappointed that the court ruled to allow this clearly unconstitutional amendment to be placed on the 2011 general ballot,” said Kay Scott, CEO of Planned Parenthood Southeast, Inc., which covers Mississippi. “The Mississippi Constitution explicitly states that the initiative process cannot be used to change the Bill of Rights and Initiative 26 would do just that if it passes,” said Scott.<br /><br /> Scott said further, “Amendment 26 may sound sensible to some, but it will have extreme consequences for women and children. It may outlaw abortions, even if the woman's life is threatened or she's been raped. It’s so extreme it could even ban common methods of birth control like the pill and IUDs. This would mean more unintended pregnancies, putting families at risk, and women facing unhealthy and dangerous options. This would put government bureaucrats in charge of important life decisions when they should really be focusing on getting the economy back on track and getting their own house in order.”<br /><br />###<br /><br />Planned Parenthood is a trusted provider of high-quality, affordable health care and is a valued community partner in the Greater Hattiesburg area. PPSE is committed to helping make health care services available to those in need in communities across Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi. The regional administrative office is in Atlanta.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-68359496671971590952011-09-06T21:23:00.002-05:002011-09-06T21:37:28.556-05:00Here, let me explain south Mississippi to you.So I'm on Facebook, and I see a friend of a friend's profile picture and think: "I cannot possibly be seeing what I think I'm seeing." So I click on her name, and behold, let me describe to you the full redneck-ed-ness of her profile picture. She and her partner/bf/babydaddy/wev have gone to a photo studio in jeans. She is about 4-5 months pregnant, and they have taken off their shirts. They are posed with her in his arms, her to the right, him to the left, with his arm around her front (covering her boobs) and his other hand firmly clamped on her ass. Yes: this is the pose they chose at Olan Mills, or WalMart, or wherever it is they went to commemorate their young love, early pregnancy, and vibrant youth. He has a crappy tattoo on the bicep facing us (I'm sure this is on purpose, so we can see his awesomely crappy tattoo) and his hair has been doused with some sort of unguent and combed back so you can see exactly where the stylist did his highlights. Did I mention she is wearing low-rider maternity jeans so you can see the fullness of her baby bump? <br /><br />Look, I am not one to judge her for getting pregnant so young. It's just the state of things in Mississippi, where there is no sex education and kids are taught that using birth control is as big a sin as fornication, so why double their sins when they decide to fuck while still in high school? [this accounts not only for our high teen pregnancy rate but also our awesomely high rates of gonorrhea, chlamydia, et al.] My objection is entirely in the realm of aesthetics and taste. <br /><br />But, see, it's not just the poor aesthetic choice I am judging. No, it's not. There's more. And this is where my bitchy Southern lady hostess training goes into full effect. This kid, with her naked Olan Mills portrait AS HER FACEBOOK PROFILE, says to our mutual friend: "I'm rushing. Any words of advice?"<br /><br />Which means, precious, that our heroine wants to join a sorority. Yes. And it has not occurred to her that her Portrait of Young Love? Is not what sororities are looking for. O. M. G. I almost - I swear to you - posted in that thread and said, honey, take that picture down if you want to get into a decent sorority.<br /><br />And then I remembered how much I loathe the national Greek system, and that she's really going to be better off NOT joining a sorority (even though she thinks she wants that right now), and I let it pass. <br /><br />And then I thought: what the fuck do I know about sororities in the 21st century in the buttcrack of Mississippi? Maybe they don't care if you put pictures of your semi-naked pregnant self on the internet? <br /><br />And then! Bitchy Southern Lady Hostess-Trained Self thinks: oh holy fuck the Greek system has gone to hell in handbasket if this is appropriate behavior not only for young women in general, but also for sorority rushees? <br /><br />Yes, I'm a fogey. I get that. But, jeez, kids, keep your naked pics off the internet. Especially if you want to join a sorority. And any sorority that's okay with your naked pic being on the internet? You don't want to join it. <br /><br />Although, really, I'd advise against joining the Greek system under any circumstances. It's a conformity machine for women, and fraternities are, for the most part, a tool for turning semi-douchey young men into the douchiest, date-rapiest assholes they can be.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-77961707505510761462011-08-02T15:22:00.003-05:002011-08-02T15:26:42.213-05:00Unsolicited Advice Part Whatever[and a bit of brand-naming consumerism]<br /><br />Some things that are working for me at the moment:<br /><br />Smoked Sea Salt. On everything.<br /><br />I am still in love with my Kenmore Calypso washer & dryer. High Efficiency, large loads, cost a fortune ten years ago (like maybe $1400?) but still going strong. I can do a month's laundry in four loads: lights, darks, sheets/towels, and delicates on the "ultra handwash" setting. Love. It.<br /><br />Washing my hair with baking soda. My hair is cleaner, stays clean longer, it's cheap, easy, no plastic bottles or weird chemicals going into the landfill/water stream. <br /><br />Started using vinegar as fabric softener. The vinegar smell is gone by the time everything leaves the dryer. Works to soften towels and get grease out. Cheap and genius, and really just as easy as using the other smelly stuff.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-35409100001161486692011-07-15T16:16:00.001-05:002011-07-15T16:17:51.975-05:00Just, fyi, amateur artists of my acquaintance...Really, it would be best if you not ask me what I think of your new paintings unless you want an honest answer. There are things I will make noncommittal noises about, but when it comes to art, I'm afraid you're going to get the unvarnished truth. Proceed with caution.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-1595805961655272042011-07-14T10:29:00.004-05:002011-07-14T11:05:02.422-05:00today in fat-hating....SO MUCH FAIL:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-katz-md/children-obesity-parents_b_897667.html">Should obese children be taken from their parents?</a> <br /><br />This article makes me sick to my stomach. <br /><br />My thought is that being fat is not a reason to subject a child to the foster care system and being torn out of her family. It is also unreasonable to expect poor parents, especially those who live in food deserts, to be able to feed their children anything *but* what is available in their neighborhoods. This will turn into witch hunt going after poor, fat, mothers. Do we really want to burden the already inadequate foster care system with kids who are fat? This is just punishing fat kids. It's awful. I hate the very idea of it.<br /><br />A blogger at the XX Factor is slightly more reasonable: <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/7/13/two_harvard_researchers_advocate_putting_extremely_obese_kids_in.html">">"Let's put all the fat kids in health care. Real health care, not "we can't afford any visit with any local physician and the nearest doctor who takes the state child health insurance is an hour away and has a three-month-long waiting list and so we end up in the emergency room" health care." </a><br /><br />Although she, too, thinks foster care is a viable solution. And she's dead wrong. <br /><br />Here's part of the JAMA opinion piece - note that it's COMMENTARY, not SCIENCE - <br /><br /><a href="http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/306/2/206.extract">State Intervention in Life-Threatening Childhood Obesity</a><br /><br />Here's my problem: the OBESITY EPIDEMIC OMG people think that any extra poundage is life-threatening. Nobody is safe from the deathfat, yo! So where do we draw the line? When does it become acceptable to tear a kid away from her family, to take a child from her parents, because she's overweight? Ten pounds? Twenty? Fifty? Does the family have access to healthful affordable food? Is there anywhere safe in their neighborhood to play outdoors? Do the parents have any kind of information about nutrition that is useful for them? Is the kid in need of medical attention? Shit, maybe's she's just, you know, a fat kid who's perfectly healthy and happens to store fat on her person. A donut is not child abuse.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-48355325045809708642011-07-03T14:09:00.002-05:002011-07-03T14:11:40.698-05:00In which I confessMy resolve has failed. I was determined to give up paying someone to clean my house, and so have not had a cleaner here in several months. This means my bathroom has only been cleaned in a desultory fashion, because I LOATHE cleaning the tub. HATE. IT. And today, readers, was the day I was going to finally do it, here on this three-day weekend, and my resolve to be a responsible adult and clean my own fucking bathroom: it failed. I have texted the cleaner to see if she will come this week. <br /><br />Sigh. <br /><br />If this were a tweet:<br />#firstworldproblems<br />#feminismfailJezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-41515450796836662502011-06-28T09:51:00.003-05:002011-06-28T10:01:13.523-05:00Dear Omnivores:For the record, omnivores, it is none of your fucking business what I eat, what I wear, or where I shop. Mind your own business and I won't regale YOU with tales of battery cages, veal barns, and slaughterhouses, mmmkay? <br /><br />I am SO FUCKING SICK of drive-by anti-veg*an snark showing up in my life, like some bird just flew over and shit on my head. Really, people: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Argh.<br /><br />And, just so you know, we've heard it all before:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1zZNisxwVGwZXg2cmQwUGzHPPUwa-_N8LTlAEZZ_AnXMiekBc8k5-fvIU4OGJP9t1UJPP15MY3VOUd1EsaKhbffMZ-xy_GRuxCSnjksbR2mbGwhkhT0_u_6mVqDF2SiM9kRF6w/s1600/def+omni+bingo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 337px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1zZNisxwVGwZXg2cmQwUGzHPPUwa-_N8LTlAEZZ_AnXMiekBc8k5-fvIU4OGJP9t1UJPP15MY3VOUd1EsaKhbffMZ-xy_GRuxCSnjksbR2mbGwhkhT0_u_6mVqDF2SiM9kRF6w/s400/def+omni+bingo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623285778218516178" /></a>Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-57752112680392409072011-05-24T21:00:00.002-05:002011-05-24T21:09:27.491-05:00Prom season'Tis prom season here in the ol' U.S. of A., and the subject seems to be circling around and around me lately. I recently heard from a younger friend that prom spending has become massive, and that teenagers think of prom as sort of 'practice weddings.' So, that information was revolting ENOUGH, when he proceeded to casually mention that they have a ritual where the boys take garters off their dates' legs with their teeth. A la the wedding garter ritual, except teenagers, en masse, and approved by the adultly authorities, believe it or not. This friend of mine graduated high school about 2000, and it was well-established by then. <br /><br />No way, I thought: this is weird. This must be some stupid Buttcrack County ritual, and could hardly be normal nation-wide. But lo, I was wrong. I listened this weekend to the podcast of This American Life's prom episode, and a story produced in NINETEEN HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE referred to this wedding-based prom ritual, in which teenage boys stick their heads between the sweaty thighs of their dates *ON THE DANCE FLOOR* and do this garter crap. When Ira Glass was surprised by this, a high school teacher said, "where have YOU been?" I was wondering the same thing myself: where the hell have I been that I didn't know this has been going on these fifteen years at least? Sixteen, even. Good gravy. I am a fogey. I am also a grossed-out radical feminist that does not approve of turning prom into a rehearsal for a wedding, along with the attendant expenses and heteronormativity and, of course, enforced couple-hood. of the wedding-industrial complex. <br /><br />*Full Disclosure*: I attended several proms in my youth, but not my senior prom. I regret this decision NOT ONE WHIT. Furthermore, the proms I attended were at Catholic schools, and I would bet dollars to donuts that the Catholic schools still do not condone this sort of foolishness. Having one's date remove one's garter with his teeth is surely behavior reserved for the holy state of matrimony. Furthermore, there is absofuckinglutely no way I would've let some dude stick his face all up in my business in front of an entire hotel ballroom full of people.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-30682464667995106832011-05-06T13:50:00.002-05:002011-05-06T13:58:00.091-05:00Turns out Oreos are vegan.I consider this awesome news. Once upon a time, they were made with lard, and I was sad. For years, I would read the ingredients list, see "lard," and make a frowny face. And lo! One day! I turned over the package and saw NO "lard" and I was happy. Now, even better; no whey, so they're completely vegan. <br /><br />No, I'm not 100% vegan, but I'm working on getting dairy & eggs out of my diet and figuring out an array of vegan food that tastes good. What I find when I start looking at vegan cooking websites is an obsession with desserts, which really, I hardly ever make and am not that interested in for myself, and an obsession with fake meats and meat-looking things. Like fake meat-loaf and fake turkey and...yuck. I don't like meat, so I certainly don't want fake meat. There are a few pre-made veg* burgers I'll buy in the frozen aisle, just to make a convenient lunch. Eeeevery so often I buy fake hotdogs or fake bacon because I'm craving those - like maybe twice a year. But on the whole I do not want a casserole that looks like a soupy southern chicken/rice/mushroom soup debacle. I don't want to sculpt my fake-meat ingredients into something resembling shepherd's pie or pot pie or whatever. I guess what I'm saying is: I don't see a lot of recipes for *vegetables* in the few vegan blogs I try to read. I'd rather do without a meat analogue entirely instead of focusing on a meat + three model. I mean, I'm sure I could find plenty of vegan recipes that do not involve dessert or fake meat, but those seem to be the two categories that get most of the attention out there. How many people regularly make cupcakes? Especially people that aren't parents of elementary-school kids?Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-21550222081741380562011-05-04T14:59:00.001-05:002011-05-04T14:59:20.242-05:00Jazz Fest!NOLA!<br /><br />That is all.Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21816024.post-61771960238429847202011-04-29T09:47:00.002-05:002011-04-29T09:51:08.268-05:00My middle name is "buzzkill"Feh: Royal Wedding. Why is America obsessed?* I am repelled by the wedding-industrial complex, grossed out and offended that anyone would spend $30 million on a wedding, generally opposed to marriage in the first place, and really, on top of it, MONARCHY WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously, it's the 21st century, and the US of A gets all squidgy over a "commoner" becoming a "princess"? Didn't we fight a fucking revolution about that monarchy crap? The whole construct of "nobility" is revolting. Yuck. <br /><br />A lot of people I consider otherwise reasonable got up at the ass-crack (as in, before dawn) to watch a wedding that will TOTALLY get re-run over and over for the next three days. Baroo??<br /><br /><br /><br />*this is a rhetorical question. The answer, obviously, is "Patriarchy."Jezebellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04642774106656681478noreply@blogger.com0