Wednesday, November 24, 2010

liberty, security, etc.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little
Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. —Ben Franklin

I can't say I'll quit flying, because I'm going to have to at some point, and I still haven't been to Asia, but until this fascist invasion of bodily integrity calms the fuck down, I will not be engaging in elective air transportation.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

the holidays approach

Oh, holidays, how do I hate thee? Mama-drama, family-drama, turkey carcasses, agonizing over gifts (and how to pay for them), giant fund-raiser at work that pushes all of my buttons and, furthermore, requires formal attire, meaning stockings, and girl shoes, and ass-kissing of rich people, and entitled rich people getting all up in my grill. Oh, and the annual "all I want for christmas is for my family to go to church with me," and really, why would you even want me to go if it means NOTHING to me? Whyyyyy?

Wah. I am whiny today. Luckily I still have some delicious vegan chocolate truffles from Whole Foods, and a nice new bottle of bourbon.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Dear Rich White Ladies:

Memo to Rich White Ladies Blocking Traffic at 8:30 A.M.:

Yeah, you! The three rich white ladies pushing strollers, side by side, filling an entire lane of 5th Avenue? Yeah. Cut that out. Pronto. Just because you are rich white Republican mommies doesn't mean you own the roads. I realize this is brand new information, so I'm gonna give you a second to absorb it.

There. Got it? The roads, they were not built for your strolling convenience.

You happen to live in the only neighborhood in town with sidewalks. USE THEM. The roads, as it happens, are there for people with cars to get to work. You've heard of that, right? Jobs, which people go to in order to get paid? I have one of those, and I have to drive my crappy car down the road to get to it, so GET. OUT. OF. THE. STREET.


Monday, November 08, 2010

purple bike!

I bought a purple bike at a yard sale last month, and this weekend, for my birthday, my dad helped me fix it for riding. I haven't owned a bike in 20 years. Yikes. He had an extra helmet, gloves, and lock, so at this point my total investment is $25, so if I don't ride much I haven't blown a wad of cash, but I'm looking forward to getting to ride it after work today.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010


Dumbfuckistan just got dumb-fuckier. Gene Taylor, one of the most conservative Democrats in the House of Representatives, just got ousted by a giant corporate-money-loving douchebag by the name of Steve Palazzo.

Seriously, y'all, it sucks here SO MUCH.

And if "dumb-fuckier" isn't a word yet, I declare that it shall be so, henceforth.