Tuesday, August 22, 2006


You Failed 8th Grade Geography

Sorry, you only got 5/10 correct!

I can be a US citizen, but I can't pass 8th Grade Geography? Hell, damn, shitfire. I could've passed if I'd had a globe or atlas in front of me, I'm sure of that much.

Of course, I actually refuse to be held responsible for knowing information NO ONE EVER TAUGHT ME. I never took geography, as I was not required to. Through 8th grade, it was Social Studies. In high school, I took History for two years. Maybe three? Nope, two, World History (aka history of where white people lived. I learned nothing about Africa, Asia, or the Americas outside of the US, as I recall), and American History with Sister Mary effin Henry, the evillest nun in the history of evil nuns. (yes, sister HENRY, you read that right. The Dominicans are curiously gender-neutral in their choice of saint names.) The only teacher who got me involved with maps was Miss Gould, my 8th grade Louisiana History teacher. We had to learn all 63 Louisiana parishes. (64 if you count both sections of...that one that is in two sections).

Point being, however, you can't hold a kid responsible for what adults fail to teach them. And why would I know where Uruguay is? It's in the Americas somewhere, and if I had a map, I could find it.

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