I've said it before and I'm saying it again: I'd rather hang out with Honey Boo Boo's family than those awful Kardashians or, actually, pretty much any other reality TV families, except maybe the Torres family on Pitbulls and Parolees. Well, mostly I want to hang out with all those dogs at Villalobos.
Why is everybody all up in their grill? So they're rednecks with a pageant habit and a pregnant teenager. Big whoop. At least they're having a good time, instead of staging nasty weave-snatching girlfights like those awful people on "Big Rich Assholes" and all the "Housewives" shows. Here's my theory: people can't stand them because they are fat and happy and have deep redneck accents that they are not ashamed of. They could not give a good goddamn whether you approve of anything about them. The Judgy McJudgersons of America cannot tolerate a bunch of people who do not appear to be filled with self-loathing. They are not spending a ton of money on looking "better" or monetizing their reality show fame. They seem to be enjoying their time in front of the camera while knowing full well it's a fluke and it won't last forever.
Now, I admit to not being able to stomach "Toddlers and Tiaras" because child pageants are so much pornified pedophilic nastiness... but the Thompson/Shannon family (yeah, I totally had to wikipedia that one), well their show doesn't involve a lot of pageant stuff.
I'm not sitting down religiously watching it, but I'll sooner watch five minutes of that than just about any other reality show that doesn't involve pit bull rescues.
And let us not pretend like anybody but maybe Sugar Bear really needs those subtitles. He doesn't need them because of his accent, anybody with a mouth full of chew would be hard as hell to understand, even an Oxford don with a perfect British accent. Anyhow, if you can't understand a Southern accent, it's not the Southerner's fault. You're just not trying very hard because you think you're better than anybody with a drawl. I tell you what: you ain't.
CAPTION SATURDAY. (A TWOFER.)
6 hours ago