Tuesday, September 11, 2007

How to battle diet chatter in the workplace

I work with a few diet-obsessed women. They drive me mad with their thirty-minute conversations about the calorie/fat content of things like coffee creamer. I'd had enough one day, so this conversation ensued:

"You should try the Sex Diet."

Ears perk up. Eyebrows raise. "What's that?"

"It's the diet where you have so much sex you don't give a fuck how fat your ass is."

[cue crickets chirping]

The diet chatter dramatically subsided, at least when I'm around. I highly recommend this tactic.


Ollie said...

Good one! I'm sure I'll get an opportunity to try it out soon, as the diet chatter in my office never ceases. This is especially crazy because we're constantly getting together in the conference room to celebrate someone's birthday/new baby/promotion/whatever. This, of course, involves cake or cupcakes.

If I eat the stuff, women will sigh and say something along the lines of how they wish they could eat it as well. If I don't, I get pressured to join in.

Office politics, especially the bonding of women, is hard terrain to navigate. Most days I prefer to stay in my cube and avoid all interaction.

Jezebella said...

Oh yeah, the office cake party is a total minefield. Between the borderline anorexic and the yo-yo dieters and the guys eating giant slabs of cake, it sometimes nearly ruins the free cake. And you know, it's hard to ruin free cake.