It's come to my attention that my peers, mostly in our forties, are all going one of two ways:
1. getting fit
2. getting decrepit or actually fucking *dying*, like dropping dead of a stroke at age 48, mang.
This aging business, it is for the birds, yo. Mortality? Likewise. My parents, having completely retired finally, are starting to act like old people. I do not dig this development.
My own self, my blood pressure has jumped forty points since the last time I had it checked. I have been 120/80 since like FOREVER. Went to the doc Friday, it was fucking 160/90. Not good. No, not good at all. I attribute this primarily to my depression-induced excessive smoking, which I am treating with an anti-depressant and nicotine gum. It's too hot to exercise safely outdoors - we're talking heat indices over 100 from 9 am to 9 pm. This does explain my rampant headaches over the last few months, at least.
So, yeah, it's decision time: get fit, or get decrepit. Shit. I hate exercise. It's boring as fuck, walking around in a goddamn circle for hours on end, going to the same gym over and over with the same people and the same smell and the same machines. I don't like games where people propel balls at me. I can't get a good yoga class anywhere in the county. Wii Active fucking busted my ass the last time I tried it, and my thigh muscles turned into boards so I walked around like the Tin Man for a week. Seriously, I loathe all forms of exercise. I would totally try martial arts if I could find a woman-friendly beginner class within, oh, 20 miles. But there ain't one. I would go to yoga if it didn't involve driving 45 minutes each way.
It is expensive and time-consuming to have a body. Could somebody just download me into a low-maintenance machine? Kthx!
Almost there.
2 weeks ago
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3 comments:
Thanks! I am new to this blogging stuff, and happened upon your post. I enjoy it ☼
I'm going the fit route, Jez. Bought a bike, quit the occasional smoking, drinking about a gallon of water a day, and eating lotsa [tm] salads. It's rough but it's not going to get any easier on its own.
ugh.
Clearly the fit route is the only reasonable option, but christ it is fucking HOT OUTSIDE and I hate to sweat with my clothes on. I wish it was safe to bike in my neighborhood, but rednecks seem to have a vendetta against bicyclers, and bike lanes? Feh. They're for them fancy big city folks. Ain't nobody need a bike lane up in here.
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