1. My mammogram occurred at the new "women's center" in Nearby College Town. In the womens' center ob/gyn services, the Breast Center, and, get this: Plastic Fucking Surgery! Because, you know, women are tits, twats, and artificial beauty. I can't tell you how much this irritates me. When my gynecologist told me last year about this new development, I wondered aloud whether they would put a plastic surgery clinic in a "men's center." She just sort of raised her eyebrows and made no comment. Look, they need to build a men's center with the pee-pee doctor, the prostate doctor, plastic surgery, hair clinic, and perhaps a re-education center...sigh. Fucking patriarchy.
2. This year, instead of scotch-taping tiny BB's to the nipples, they have a fancy new product that is so very Feminine, so Girly, it totally negated the pain, discomfort, and general feeling of angst that accompanies the mashing of the boobs:
Isn't that SO much better? Pretty pink and purple flowers on the scotch tape!? Oh my, yes. I snuck them out of the clinic because I just knew I couldn't leave such pretty, pretty nipple-BB's behind!
I just hope that, when a man needs a mammogram, he gets the flowery stickers.
Of course, they probably just give them ultrasounds on account of they'd pass out from the pain. What a bunch of babies.
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2 comments:
Hi Jezebella,
Am I missing something here? Are yearly mammograms standard for the under-40s in the States? Or is it only for those with family history?
No, you're not missing anything. The recommendation in the US, at least from my doc, is a baseline at 35, then regular ones after 40.
I got a baseline at 35 that revealed a few lumps, which upon biopsy turned out to be benign cysts. However, because of the cysts, I have to get annual mammograms to keep an eye on them.
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