alas.

You Failed 8th Grade Geography

Sorry, you only got 5/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Geography?

I can be a US citizen, but I can't pass 8th Grade Geography? Hell, damn, shitfire. I could've passed if I'd had a globe or atlas in front of me, I'm sure of that much.

Of course, I actually refuse to be held responsible for knowing information NO ONE EVER TAUGHT ME. I never took geography, as I was not required to. Through 8th grade, it was Social Studies. In high school, I took History for two years. Maybe three? Nope, two, World History (aka history of where white people lived. I learned nothing about Africa, Asia, or the Americas outside of the US, as I recall), and American History with Sister Mary effin Henry, the evillest nun in the history of evil nuns. (yes, sister HENRY, you read that right. The Dominicans are curiously gender-neutral in their choice of saint names.) The only teacher who got me involved with maps was Miss Gould, my 8th grade Louisiana History teacher. We had to learn all 63 Louisiana parishes. (64 if you count both sections of...that one that is in two sections).

Point being, however, you can't hold a kid responsible for what adults fail to teach them. And why would I know where Uruguay is? It's in the Americas somewhere, and if I had a map, I could find it.

well, THIS is certainly a relief.

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

This is not the blog you're looking for.

tsia

come to the pink side, skywalker...

via Manolo for the Men:

Can you get brain-freeze from cuteness? Can you implode because all of your sci-fi goober nerves are being tweaked at the same time as your loving-cuteness nerves AND your irony center? It's all too much. I don't know who this guy is in the Vader suit, but he's a freakin' 21st century pop culture mashup GENIUS.

Houston, we have a problem.

Okay, so it's basically a design problem, but it's still a problem: I am sick of looking at stacks of CDs in jewel cases. I want to put them into pretty CD binders and get rid of my growing forest of CD racks. West Elm has some nice canvas-covered ones, $30 a pop, which are the best I've found so far. Canvas covered binders, in cream, brown, or light blue. They're nice, but not, you know, *exciting* or pretty or anything else very wonderful. However, they are Not Black Nylon, which is a rare thing indeed in the world of CD binders.

Apparently Case Logic still employs a design strategy that is aiming at the 16-24 mostly male demographic. I don't WANT black nylon, or black plastic, or anything with flames or skulls or psychedelic graphics. I don't NEED a zipper all the way 'round, because this isn't for carrying around in my car. I just want nice binders of CDs on the shelf next to (or nearby) my stereo. Is this so much to ask? To be fair, Case Logic's competitors are on the same page, as well.

I even emailed Grace at Design Sponge to see if she knew of any good CD binders/books. If anyone has her finger on the pulse of office supply design, I knew it would be her. Sure enough, she turned me on to a great office supply website (See Jane Work) but, alas, no luck there. Not with CD books, anyway. They do have tons of amazing cool office stuff, pretty file folders and pens and things that I want one of each of everything... I mean, wouldn't work be much more fun if folders looked like this?



instead of the boring manila envelopes above, which are there because I'm too lazy to figure out how to make the pictures I upload go where I want them to.

and it's a three-fer

Facing Middle Age With No Degree, and No Wife - New York Times

Apparently this week is "Poor Pitiful Me" week for white boys at the New York Times. This article is about guys who won't marry because they're afraid they'll lose their houses. Or because they're afraid they might get divorced. Or because they're afraid they might have to compromise on something, anything, EVER.

Now, really: is this a story? Seriously? So some middle-aged guys aren't married - not because they might have some reprehensible personal habit, or perhaps they just like being single - but because they don't have college degrees? Because, no matter what the interviewees say, the Times reporter keeps harping on the no-college-degree business. Which is a load of crap, in my view. I live in Mississippi where less than 25% of men have college degrees,last I checked, and most people are married.

Maybe it's a pity party. Maybe it's a made-up story where there isn't a story. I don't know, but I'm tired of reading about the woes of gainfully employed, healthy white men who don't have exactly what they want at all times. "I want a boyfriend and a wife!" "I want a good job, not just any job!" "I want a perfect, risk-free marriage, or none at all!" Wah, wah, and wah.

These stories have all been in the top-ten most emailed in the last few weeks. Because, what, there isn't any other news?

Friday cat blogging

So this is Bennet. He's five years old and does not like strangers. In fact, I think only two people besides me have seen his entire body in person. Usually, if you hang around long enough, he'll come into the hallway and peer around the door to see what's going on, but he won't come out and say hello. However, when I'm home alone, he's all over me. He will actually shove his head under my head, demanding petting. He's learned from Ferris the trick of demanding attention by sitting smack on top of my right hand - my mousing hand - while I'm sitting at the computer.

Here's another one....

When the Beard Is Too Painful to Remove - New York Times

Oh, these poor gay men who want to have it all - the benefits of marriage AND a boyfriend to boot. This sums it up:

“I love her, but she wants me to be in love with her,” Dr. T. said. “She wants to be my one and only. Everything we have will be at risk if, God forbid, we divorce.’’

What exactly do "we" have in this scenario? HE wants "everything" and SHE wants her husband to be loving and monogamous. I'm not saying an open marriage is impossible, but that isn't what these guys want. There's no mention in this article of the wife's point of view - what she gives up in a sexless marriage to a man who isn't devoted to the marriage. He just likes the benefits (social acceptance, health care, child care, domestic assistance) but I just don't see what a woman would be getting out of it. Personally, I'd bail. I have to say it: these guys sound like selfish whiny bastards who don't give a shit about their wives' happiness & fulfillment. It's disappointing that the author couldn't be bothered to consider it from the point of view of the "beard."

I guess what it comes down to is this: I don't see any real difference between a married man who believes he's entitled to a girlfriend on the side and a married man who believes he's entitled to having a boyfriend on the side.

The Shape of a Mother

The Shape of a Mother TM: August 2006

Powerful stuff. Pregnancy really is a giant biology experiment, isn't it? Dangerous, difficult process.

Having not had children, I don't really "get" why women want to tell their baby stories, over & over, in excruciating detail. Pregnant women I know get addicted to that "Baby Stories" show (is it on Lifetime?) but somehow I am inclined to think ignorance might be bliss. Apparently as soon as you start looking pregnant, everyone wants to tell you their labor & delivery horror stories... what is that?

I guess the project is something like that, only with pictures, and come to think of it, no one's pregnancy stories follow up with "and now my belly looks like bread dough, my calves are veiny, and I've got scars and stretch marks here, there, and everywhere". The baby stories usually end with delivery - or at least the narrative switches from mother to baby once delivery is complete.

The pics make me suspicious of the Hollywood chicks who are back in flat-tummied form six weeks after pregnancy. Do they just hand off their children to nannies and spend 24/7 working on their abs? Do they all just get tummy tucks while in the hospital? I've seen really young women bounce back to their old figures, at least clothed, but it seems like the changes are more than the shape of your ass or the bulge of the stomach.

I See Lazy Gringos

Men Not Working, and Not Wanting Just Any Job - New York Times:

...whose wives, when they have them, apparently enable them in their lazy ways. Get this slice of shit pie:


"Their two incomes are not enough to cover expenses, which bothers Mrs. Beggerow, although not enough to badger her husband to take a job, any job. She respects him too much for that, she says."

Bless his poor widdle heart, the Big Important Man doesn't want a less-than-perfect job, so he's gonna sit on his ass reading novels all day when he could be working. I bet these lazy-asses vote Republican and are opposed to welfare, but that's exactly where they'll land if they don't get off their princess asses and get a job.

Gawd: entitlement, it's the fucking theme song of the patriarchy and it makes me want to spit.

Arrogant, lazy, entitled motherfuckers. I especially am fond of the ones who figure if they don't work, they won't have to pay child support. That's nice.

Molly Ivins...

Creators.com - Creators Syndicate

as always, Molly Ivins hits the nail on the head. The media is turning the Middle East into a scary movie, and nothing is better for Republicans than fear, fear, and more fear.